


Addicted to the feel of her skin

by CookieDoughMe



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: F/M, audrey duke and everyone else are gone, but it's written now so i'm going to, despair loneliness and guilt, emotional physical and sexual abuse, i've made myself cry writing before but this is something else, mara at her most vicious, nathan at his most vulnerable, this is just bleak, this is not my usual style and i'm not really sure where it came from, this is not the tragic-but-beautiful sadness of the canon finale, this is so bleak i'm not sure i even want to post it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 01:58:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10561470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookieDoughMe/pseuds/CookieDoughMe
Summary: Set towards the end of the final season, but in a version where everything has gone terribly, horribly, irredeemably, wrong.Nathan + Mara.CONTENT WARNINGS for emotional, physical and sexual abuse, and just all round awfulness. There is no silver lining, there is not even any thirst quenching rain - this is nothing but one big black cloud. No light at the end of the tunnel, just the train at full speed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as my thoughts on what only being able to feel one person could mean for Nathan. And also on what kind of person would take full (selfish) advantage of that. 
> 
> When one person is your only source of any physical sensation at all, wouldn't you seek out whatever you could from them? Wouldn't you take whatever you could get? Any touch they were willing to give, any caress, any slap - any punch? And what if the person who held that power over you was not a compassionate friend with principles, but a sociopathic enemy who knows what her body means to you and decides to play?

When Charlotte recombined Mara and Audrey, it was Mara who remained (whether by accident or design on Charlotte’s part it doesn't matter, the result is the same). Mara is in full control of her body and Audrey seems to be gone for good.

When Duke's trouble bomb went off, it killed him, cutting the town off through the shroud released from him and leaving Mara the only person alive with any immunity to it.

Haven is a shell of its former self. The dwindling population exists rather than lives. Haven PD is gone and the Guard is engaged in firefighting (both literal and otherwise) in response to the new wave of Troubles. There are none of the familiar patterns any more; the new Troubles react and combine in dangerous and unexpected ways and there is no end in sight. 

The Guard runs Haven with a ruthlessly authoritarian approach and desperate tactics to try to exert some measure of control against the chaos that the aether has unleashed. Dwight leads them with a brutal determination to keep his impossibly revived daughter safe, an obsession that blinds him to anything else.

Nathan is utterly alone. Over the last few months, in the course of trying to put things right, anyone else he might have called on for help (Charlotte, Vince, Dave, Gloria, Vicky, Stan), has been either killed, banished to the void, or sent outside the shroud with new memories, unlikely to ever return. The aether core is crushed, the controller crystal is smashed, Stuart Moseley is dead and the new Troubles are too unpredictable to try and use to travel anywhere, let alone back in time.

Nathan lives with his guilt and his despair in the ruins of the former Gull and Audrey’s old apartment above it; numb, alone and broken, torturing himself with thoughts of what might have been.

Mara, her favourite toy (Duke) gone and William banished to the void, finds a new toy in Nathan. With his trouble still active, she is the only thing he can feel, and as she has the face of Audrey (and Lucy, and Sarah), he can not find it in his heart to fight her; she is the only thing he has left. 

He both dreads her visits and lives for them. She takes him to bed and he lets her, because he is addicted to the feel of her skin. She uses her power over him; her unique ability to make him feel not only pleasure, but physical pain as well. She is vicious and she is imaginative and there is nothing to stop her from doing anything she wants.

Through the aether that rains down from the sky, she manipulates his Trouble as well as him, turning it on and off with a touch, dialling it down so that he can feel anything she does to him (whether she touches him directly or not), dialling it up so that he feels nothing no matter how close she presses her body to his.

She uses him for her pleasure, compares him to Duke in bed, taunts him, fucks him, beats him and cuts him, leaves him battered and broken and begging for more. Sometimes she makes him come and sometimes she doesn't and he is never sure which is worse.

Either way, the things she makes him feel are bright points of light in the darkness that is his everyday numbness (because whatever she does to his Trouble, she always puts it back before she leaves). He knows she has won, he knows she will carry on destroying everything in Haven until there is nothing left, and that then she will bring down the shroud to have her fun with the rest of the world. He knows it is his fault, he knows he should be able to stop her. 

He thinks about ways to kill her, makes plans for the next time she is naked in bed next to him, when logic says she should be most vulnerable. But she is too good at distracting him; whenever the time comes where he might be able to get the better of her, either it is a clumsy attempt that she easily brushes aside, or he leaves it too long; promising himself he will, but falling victim to the way she makes him feel until it's too late and his chance is gone.

In between her visits he sits on the balcony and looks at the view, remembering better days and waiting for the time when she will take it too far, hit him too hard, cut him too deep and he will pass out never to wake up, sent to the sweet oblivion of a death that he hopes she will not bother to revive him from. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you need an antidote after that, maybe go check out this tumblr account I just came across, <http://puppiestotherescue.tumblr.com>

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [It's Only Touch (All He Has Left)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13596324) by [Nocticola](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola)




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